Need an Experienced Life Coach — Grandma May be Your Best Option

 

After much reading on the subject, this is my bottom line definition of the responsibilities of a Life Coach. Someone who will help you design a personal strategy to achieve specific life-enhancing goals and skills while working alongside you to achieve those things.

Now I’m more than certain that a grandma is your best option. Being a great-grandma myself, I can speak from experience!  

Let's Make Some Comparisons

Professional Life Coaches: are careful not to be opinionated. They ask a lot of deep questions and strive to help their clients arrive at their best version of themselves, forming their own set of answers.

Grandmas take the opposite approach: and for good reason. They already know you’re challenged when it comes to Q&A sessions. They’ve heard the ‘I don’t know' answer too many times to fall for that strategy again. Grandmas know that if you had the ability to reason just the tiniest bit, you wouldn’t be in your current mess. Nor would you be grabbing for support before you’ve given the issue your best shot.
And when it comes to not being opinionated, hogwash! Grandma’s opinions are worth their weight in gold.

Professional approach: Help the client deal with negative thinking and beliefs that may foster low self-esteem and/or affect performance levels.

Grandma’s approach: “Yep, you’re not the smartest pumpkin in the patch. However, when eating a pumpkin pie, no one ever asks how smart the pumpkin is. The point — every pumpkin has a purpose to fulfill. If you’re a pumpkin, be a pumpkin. Don’t try to be a pineapple! Grow big and round, display the best orange color you can, and visualize the benefit you’ll impart to others. Now let’s have a slice of my fresh-baked pumpkin bread and talk about all the things you like about pumpkins.”

Professional approach: Assists the client in identifying pertinent goals and establishing a personal strategy for reaching those goals.

Grandma’s approach: “You leaving by the front door or back door? Are you taking the slow road or the express lane? If you haven’t yet learned in which direction the sun rises and sets, how do you expect to plot a travel map? First-things-first! Figure out where you’re standing before planning a new destination. And don’t let your itchy feet get ahead of your common sense.”

Professional approach: Assists a client to maintain a high motivation level.

Grandma’s approach: “Get your perfectly formed derriere up and do something! And don’t expect a reward for doing what you ought to be doing. If the task is hard, then you try harder. If the task is not to your liking, get over yourself, and keep going. Life’s got no sympathy for the weak-hearted. Put on your big-girl panties, or your heart-printed boxers and dance to the music. People won’t always remember if you won or lost, but they will remember if you continued to show up.”

Professional approach: Assists the client to improve skills for staying focused and on target.

Grandma’s approach: “Keep it between the ditches, fool! Put down all those contraptions with buttons, irritating noises, and nonsensical images, and look where you’re going. And don’t be window shopping either. Here you go. Grandma made you some special blinders out of my daisy fabric. You keep them on or I’ll jerk a knot in your tail.”

Professional approach: Assists the client in analyzing their program and progress.

Grandma’s approach: “What are you whining about? So you didn’t get a promotion after 3 months of work — poor baby. You didn’t get a big enough raise after 6 weeks of work — poor baby. No one appreciates how hard you work — poor baby. 

Never mind. I’ve got your coffin ready and the hole dug. Now you can just lie down and die in your self-pity. But I’m thinking that after I shovel a little dirt on your face, your perspective might show some improvement. Want to try it out? If not, it’s time to figure out how I got to be this old and smart. Life’s like swinging a pit bull by the tail. Everything is okay as long as you keep swinging. It’s when you decide to quit that the trouble starts. So when it comes to progress, just remember to keep on-keeping-on.”

I hope you’ve enjoyed my story. I have the utmost respect for Life Coaches and those who enlist their services to improve specific areas of their lives.

But in all seriousness, sometimes a simple heart-to-heart with your grandma might do a world of good. And grandma’s services don’t cost a mint since we usually work for hugs…

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